have you ever felt this way

Don't you wish people could know how you feel. Certain people. Been feeling kind of down recently. It's like I was trying so hard all by myself. Being rejected so many times, being said mean things to you by your best friends and you have to pretend you don't care. Have you ever felt that way? They mean it. It's so exhausting. At my limit. When someone falls out of love with you and they don't treat you like the way they did before, it hurts right? And they don't make that effort anymore to listen, care or even enjoy or....... appreciate your company or even your.... existence. You don't even matter anymore. What the heck? Sometimes it's like you don't even know them at all. Worst, one day when we don't talk anymore people won't even realized or think back what went wrong. Maybe just the "We stop talking" crap. Literally bullshit. When in actual fact, they were the one who stop trying. CAN YOU FEEL ME. DO YOU FEEL ME CAUSE THEY DON'T.

Oh I have this fake friend which my mother thinks she is. I guess I always thought it was loyalty to always stick by her and had her back when in actual fact it was just stupidity of me. My mum always tells me she's just making use of me whenever it's convenient. All these years I guess it was true. Parents really do notice your fake friends before you do, bear in mind. 

I'm jumping oceans for people who won't even jump puddles for me. I'm so stupid. I kinda stop trying for these people. It's the right choice, isn't it. 

I've met some new people this year. Even though this year was a big change and almost everything came tumbling on me, I look at each of my friends individually. Just because one hurts me, I don't look at other people the same way. Because everyone is different. While you are blaming the one who hurts you(nothing wrong with that), don't put that experience or grudge on a new friend, because they could be different. Take risks. 

It seems like I have so many hearts for people to hurt me but I am willing to take the risks cause I will never stop putting in the effort for people I know who would do the same when I meet them. Because you never know right? :) Same goes for love. 

God bless 2013, xoxo.